The most extroverted people know that when it comes to relating to others, in most cases it is less important to have a planned topic of conversation. It’s more; Sometimes, the simple act of trying to stick to a script makes the dialogue is not completely fluid, and that is locked by a lot of awkward silences.
However, for most people, the fact of talking without having a defined message in mind is something strange, difficult to carry out.
It may seem uninteresting to interact from this perspective, but at other times it is a very precious resource: initiating conversations easily has many advantages in certain contexts.
In this article, we will review a series of tips on how to start a conversation without having a specific topic.
How to start a conversation without a topic
We must bear in mind that when we think about what a conversation is, we tend not to think exactly about the real dialogues that take place in our day to day life.
Instead, we think rather of script or novel dialogues, exchanges of opinions that aim, in most cases, to create a clear account of what is happening, to show interchanges of ideas that are coherent.
But in real life, most conversations are full of imperfections. For example, there are redundant expressions, the circle turns, and many, many topics change.
This does not have to be bad; it is a reflection of the dynamic character of the human mind, and in fact, when they occur, we do not usually notice those imperfections.
As well; When starting a conversation without having a defined topic prepared, we can exploit this principle on which most conversations are based. It does not matter as much the content as the form. Let’s see how to do it.
1. Do not be afraid of making a fool of yourself
The fact that it is not necessary to have a topic of conversation to start talking to someone does not make the first impression of little importance. Therefore, whatever you do you must do something that does not make you seem vulnerable or that makes you feel prey to the feeling of ridicule. Any action, however bizarre it may be, has many possibilities of not appearing if it is clear that you are doing just what you want to do.
Of course, you must be clear that starting a conversation without having planned a topic is always, to a greater or lesser extent, a challenge, so you will be required to leave the comfort zone. Anyone who talks about a subject that they know a lot about, will feel safe, but launching fully to talk about changing topics, should flow with the conversation, and that requires adapting.
2. Talk about a shared reference
For example, you can comment on a visual element that has caught your attention. This comment, as long as it is not rude, is a good start, since although it is clear that it will not be the backbone of the conversation (it does not give to talk so much) part of something that sender and receiver can warn , supposing that are in the same space or seeing the same.
3. Ask simple questions
So that it is not a monologue, it asks simple questions that refer to experiences, for example. In this way, a range of different topics will be opened before you that you can choose depending on how interesting they are.
4. Talking about the everyday is not a sin
There is nothing wrong with talking about the small details of day to day. For example, the impression given by a certain neighborhood, the type of food we like … In the end, if all conversation were about very abstract topics, life would be very boring. Also, talking about this makes it easy to change the subject and create stories that the other person can identify with .
5. Adapt to your nonverbal language
This is a small trick that will help the other person feel more comfortable. Part of the reference of the nonverbal language that expresses, and imitates it . If you see that it is one that expresses an attitude to the defensive, imitate it but taking it to a similar one that is less tense, less hostile. Unconsciously, it will also imitate you, until both of you are in a more relaxed posture and style of non-verbal language.
None of this will make sense if you assume that by reading a series of instructions you will have already learned to do so. Take those ideas as a reference, and take them out in your day to day. Repetition creates the skill.