Why do people cheat? whenever I engage in conversation with my friends in Daily Life, I have been observed that many people are complaining about their life partner has cheated on them which creates many problems in their life. Today, we are going to tell some general causes which may lead to cheating in relationships. After reading this article, you will be able to correct the shortcomings in your relationship and strengthen your relationship with your life partner.
So, I wanted to talk about this because I was curious myself, why do people cheat and I did a little bit of research, so let’s get to it. I just want to preface this and say obviously every single relationship is different and why somebody cheats over somebody else is always going to be totally different. I think there really are some trends and relationships that allow shame to happen and I also think there’s a way that it can definitely be avoided and a lot of that is just knowing yourself and knowing your own boundaries.
What I concluded from all of my experience and research is:
There are three types of love
- There’s lust which is sexual desire, carnal very physical, nature stuff
- There’s romantic love which is puppy love can’t eat can’t sleep can’t stop thinking about the person.
- There’s a deep connection with a partner which is the most intimate and deepest type of connection you can have with a person with true intimacy and a choice of commitment.
I believe that people can experience all three of those things at any given point in their life, you can be attracted towards more than one person in your life at a time, but the choices that you make and what you do with those feelings and how you set boundaries according to your morals in your life.
For example, ah! you could be in a totally committed deep relationship with somebody, and can experience lust for somebody else, and have a puppy love sensation for somebody else as well, but what are you gonna do about it if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend or a husband/wife, it’s pretty expected that you’re not gonna fall in love with someone else, have sex with someone else,or kiss somebody else, So why do 30 to 40 percent of people step outside their relationships for intimacy or connection.
Based on the conversations I’ve had with people and what I’ve read online it comes down to about three:
- The first one is lots of feeling or intimate connection with your partner could be boredom distance etc.
- The second is need to take control where two controls been taken away so people who feel like they don’t have a consciousness of control in the relationship, or they need to do something to cultivate a sense of control.
- The third one, they are unable to step away from the relationship if they need to step away from out of fear of hurting the other person.
- This last one is the one that I want to focus on, because this is actually the most common reason that I personally have heard that people cheat, as weird as it sounds they don’t want to hurt somebody, so they end up cheating, which is, in the end, going to hurt way worse but I think at the moment people lose sight of the bigger picture and they’re only focusing on like what’s happening right now.
So the guy’s been with a girl for two or three years and he doesn’t want to hurt her honour, like he just want to break up with her is what I’m saying, so he’s like “I can’t do that to her”, “it would devastate her”, “it would hurt her so much, if I broke up”. He’s like “I actually really care about her and I want to break up but I just can’t, because we’ve been together so long and it’s comfortable, and change is scary, so I’m just gonna cheat and meet someone else. That just you know it usually ends up bad. The other person usually ends up finding out and it just kind of sucks for everyone, and it hurts way worse.
If you find you’re in that situation my advice is to break up with the person that you’re not satisfied with for whatever reason. It’s okay if you’re not fulfilled in their relationship but it’s not okay to go out and cheat because of it.
On the other hand, just because somebody’s not happy in a relationship not feeling fulfilled and satisfied, it does not mean that they want to break up from their relationship, it could just mean possibly that you’re not connecting with your partner in a level that you should, because you’re not being honest about you how you feel.
You might not be talking about your sexual needs, you might not be talking about your emotional needs, and you might not be sharing with them. It’s creating a distance between you guys and that is another reason why you might step outside of the relationship in a way that can be avoided is to just be brave and communicate with your partner, even if it’s scary and vulnerable because Cheating is definitely just a temporary fix that causes more problems later.
It’s definitely along the lines of like gambling, drinking doing drugs things like that that really create an escape for you. They help you forget about your problems but then the next day your problems are still there and you’ve kind of done this shitty thing, that you feel horrible about and nothing’s fixed, you want to feel freedom and escape.
Sometimes the consequences just aren’t worth it, usually, the consequences aren’t worth it, so a way to avoid this from happening
- Number one make a commitment, to be honest with yourself and how you feel and communicate back to your partner, be aware of your true feelings for the people in your life that you might be attracted to.
- Then set boundaries of how you’re going to interact with those people in order to stop something from ever possibly even getting started For example: if you’re really attracted to somebody maybe don’t text them and private conversation if you’re in a relationship because one thing leads to another and you don’t want to end up in a situation that you can’t backtrack from. So boundary settings are good.
- Three if you notice a trend of you dying to be with other people whether it’s sexually, emotionally or just in any kind of way, if you’re noticing that type of behaviour within yourself,” do something about it”, “don’t ignore it”, because if you try to suppress that, it’s just gonna come out in ways that you don’t really want it to happen, like cheating or just being really unhappy in a relationship.